I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize