we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
