Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
