my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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