I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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