let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
