There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
