I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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