Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize