from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
