do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
