I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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