I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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