Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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