Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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