Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
