My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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