glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The best revenge is premature balding
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
