The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
