Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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