Do vagina's smell?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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