So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i out mim tonsoeep
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
