I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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