Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We got so high we made milksteak
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize