Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
