Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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