I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
