ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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