'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
love makes seman taste better
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
