And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
home. puking in laundry basket.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
