I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He shit in the fireplace
I smell like Dick and happiness
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
