Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
