Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
