The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
