I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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