Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
