Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
