Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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