i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
