I'm going to jail i love you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
