Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
