Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
