whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
