From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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