On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
