i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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