i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Someone signed my nipple.
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