I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
