so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize