The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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