He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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