how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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