tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
