the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
