Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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