oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My cat gives me a boner
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize