Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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