My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
