We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
