How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
