My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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