He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
