How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
