remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
