She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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