belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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