guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize