I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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