It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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