We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
