He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
