that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
