I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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