Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
