Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, beer. Big fan.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
