i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
