just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
