I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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