You can't motorboat a personality
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
