perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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