so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
