Got a toothbrush?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize