Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize