Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

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(260): View more from Indiana

i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

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(301): View more from Maryland

seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...

(443): View more from Maryland

that's spring break in florida for ya

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(217): View more from Illinois

dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.

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(415): View more from California

sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.

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