I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
